英文幽默
A big head
"All the kids make fun of me," the boy cried to his mother. "They say I have a big head."
"Don't listen to them," his mother consoled. "You have a beautiful head.
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
 Fresh milkCustomer: I wonder if this milk is fresh.Waiter: Fresh? Three hours ago it was GRASS
新鲜牛奶客户:我想知道这牛奶是否新鲜。
侍者:新鲜的?在三个小时以前它是草
A noteI wonder (对)...感到奇怪;想要知道I wonder at your patien
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
  Wash your face
Teacher: David, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning?
David: What was it?
Teacher: Eggs.
David: Wrong, te
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
 Thank you
Doctor: Please open your mouth, madam.
Lady: Thank you very much, doctor.
Doctor: Why do you thank me?
Lady: Because my husband always asked me to shut up.
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
  Reason of late
The teacher asked Tom: "Why did you come to school so late this morning?"
"Someone lost one Yuan." answered Tom.
"Oh, now I know, you helped him
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
Knows the future
Nasreddin was cutting a branch of a tree in his garden. While he was sawing, another man passed in the street. He stopped and said,“Excuse me, but if you continue to saw that branch like that, you will fall down
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
 Rich driver?
Two rich ladies were sharing a taxi and talking about the high cost of going anywhere by taxi.
One of the ladies said,“Taxis are terribly expensive these days. The owners get a lot of m
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
  It was half-past eight in the morning. The telephone bell rang and Mary went to answer it.
“Hullo, who’s that:”she asked?
“It’s me--Peter.”
Peter was a friend of Mary’s eight-year-old b
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
  Some of Nasreddin’s old friends were talking about the young people in their town. They all agreed that old people were wiser than young people. Then one of the old men said,“But young men are stronger than old men.”
All of the
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
  One day, the teacher inquired of Peter:" How much is four minus four?" Peter was tongue-tied. The teacher got angry and said: "What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of th
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
  喜欢上王小姐后,决定要给她写一封情书,这封情书一定要不落俗套。苦思之下,触发了灵感,现在卖饼干说是卖克力架,做网站的想办法上纳斯达克,那我也走国际路线,写封英文情书,扯着虎皮拉大旗,显示一下自己的才华吧。
Dear wang litte girl:
亲爱的王小姐:
(翻译这句,我可费了不少心思,中文直接用”亲爱的”未免显得肉中有肉,麻中有麻,还是老外开放,一般朋友也可
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
 4 new fathers
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange,
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
位于开普吉拉多的东南密苏里州立大学有一位我很喜欢的老师,他滑稽的幽默是人所共知的。在对一个新生班级解释他的基本规则时,他说:“我知道我的课程可能会枯燥乏味,所以我不介意你们在上课时看表。然而我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲以确定它们是不是还在走。”
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
我在公车公司的同事Lisa,有一回需要给一位整个行程一团糟的顾客寄一封道歉信。我提醒她一年前我遭遇过类似情形,并翻出我那时写的道歉信,告诉她:“你所要做的就是修改一下细节,日期和姓名。”她看完信,苦笑道:“连名字都不用改”。
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
一个寒冷的11月的夜晚,一个地方警察刚结束了夜班回到家和妻子说:“你简直无法相信今天晚上发生了什么事!我当了这么多年差都没见过这样的事。” “怎么了?” “我在运河边遇到两个家伙,他们一个在喝电池酸液,另一个在吃烟火。” “喝电池酸液?吃烟火?那你是怎么做的呢?” “哦,那很简单,我抓了一个放了一个。”
日期:04-29 作者:中国英语网
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